Parental leave in Germany
Elternzeit: parental leave
Elterngeld: parental allowance
Helpful links
Telling your employer
There is no reason to delay talking to your employer about Elternzeit. I would wait until you’re out of the “risky” phase of the pregnancy (after about the 12th week of pregnancy). Depending on your relationship with your manager you can tell them then, and then (once you’ve worked out what you want to do) discuss the details of your Elternzeit with them in a second step - or just jump straight to the second step. The more lead time your manager has to plan for how to cover your absence, the easier his/her job is.
The only limit you have is that you (depending on your Tarifvertrag) usually have to hand the application for Elternzeit in at least 7-8 weeks before the start date of the Elternzeit, and you have to define all of your Elternzeit periods in one go (so you can’t hand in a few months at the beginning, and then decide later how to distribute the remaining months). Elternzeit is not a big deal - every parent in Germany has a legal right to it (with a few niche exceptions).
How long it lasts
Also, note that your employer doesn’t get a say in how and how much Elternzeit you take (you tell them unilaterally - although it’s usually courteous to at least make a small effort to discuss it with them ahead of time) - only if you change your mind can they refuse to accept the changes. Depending on your (and your wife’s) income, the Elterngeld will only cover a part of your salary, so take that into account in your financial calculations - and if your finances allow it, there’s nothing stopping you from (both) taking up to three years of Elternzeit (most of which would be unpaid).
Parental allowance
Make sure you understand the differences between Elternzeit and Elterngeld, the various options available to you (including Elterngeld Plus), and how they interact (e.g. Elterngeld is only paid out for full months starting from the birth date of the child, so the dates need to be aligned).
Source: comment by /u/LightsiderTT